Despite Everything
by SiStAz4EvA
Summary: Heartbreak is something that never dissapears right away. Lorelai is faced with the realization that she needs to make things change. But feeling lost, can change a person. Not knowing what to do, she runs. Set after Mia's Wedding. Deff LL later on.
1. Taking Chances

**A/N: New Story!! Yay!! This is how I think LL should get back together. It is taking place a month after Mia's wedding. Told in both Luke and Lorelai's POV **

**Despite Everything**

As I walked the calm, quiet, friendly streets of my favorite witty town Stars Hollow.. I couldn't help but wonder...When? When am I going to realize that I have to do something before it is to late? I let out a heavy sigh. There was things I needed to do. So I built up my courage..and walked the oh so familiar path towards the diner, in desperate need of coffee.

I walked past the clear glass windows, and seen him. His back facing the coffee machine. I slowly walked up the steps and grabbed the doorknob. But before I twisted my wrists I hesitated...maybe it wasn't the right time. I shook it off and turned the knob. Clutching my purse for support (with my other hand) I opened the door. Which allowed that _lovely _bell to jingle above me. Damn, I thought the bell was annoying, but I knew I _missed _it.

He probably didn't here the the bell ring..after all it was almost dinner, the place was packed. Almost like that diner on _Groundhog Day, _oh wait I think I was thinking of some other movie. So, I sat down at the nearest empty table. I kept my back to him, and decided to look out the window.

As I watched people from the distance and people just walking by...I knew what I wanted. I had seen Lane and Zach holding hands, pushing their double stroller with those beautiful twin boys inside. They were young..but so perfect for each other, and the four of them looked adorable together. It was that time of year, It was getting warmer out, anybody who was anybody was outside enjoying the fresh air.

From a distance I could see Sookie, Jackson, Davey and Martha having a picnic in the square. The were all laughing. Sookie was getting to the point in her pregnancy where she was really starting to show. They all looked so happy...a family.

That's what I wanted, happiness. I wanted to be a part of a family...I wanted someone I could count on, I wanted someone to make me feel secure.

Footsteps interrupted my thoughts, and somehow I _knew _they were his. He turned to the left side of me, and gave me a questioning look. He closed his eyes and reopened them. As if he was making sure I wasn't a mirage.

"Hey." he said kind of awkwardly.

"Hey." I practically choked out, just as weird...unsure of how I should say it.

"Coffee?" he asked, and actually that sounded normal.

I only nodded, being careful not to make myself look ridiculous when I did. Talking was awkward, too awkward. But I really didn't want it to be. I desperately didn't want it to be.

He walked away, and filled the mug at the counter.

I sighed. And after that, I wasn't really sure what I was doing...and I swear it wasn't my original intention. I just ran from my problems again. I opened my purse, took out a pen, and scribbled something down on a napkin, then I hurried out before he would come back. I guess my coffee craving would have to wait.

* * *

As I watched her walk away, I just couldn't help but think what I have been thinking for so long now...I miss her. I sighed, and set the mug down on table where she was sitting and headed for the door I opened it..and I noticed everyone was watching me, so being the unsure person that I am, I closed the door.

As I picked up the mug, I noticed the napkin, something small written on it. I piked it up and it read

"I'm Sorry."

I smiled...but I was unsure of what was going to happen next.

* * *

As I walked back he route to my house, I crossed my arms over chest, my purse hanging from my shoulder. It was warm, but I was cold...I was so cold, not physically, but emotionally. My heart was cold, and it felt empty.

Because I had no one. I was alone, and I was determined to make everything right again.

**-To Be Continued-**

**I know LL were a slight OOC but don't worry things will get better.**

**So how did I do? Was this a total waste of time, or should I continue? **


	2. A Mistake?

-1**A/N: know I haven't updated any of my stories in a long time but my account was acting weird and I don't know I just haven't been in the mood to write for some reason. But now that GG is over for good I feel that I need to, so I'm sorry. **

**Reminder: I wrote this before LL got "back together" so keep that in mind. **

**It takes place a month after Mia's wedding. (Gilmore Girls Only) **

**So on with the story!! **

**I'm dedicating this chapter to my friend Kaci, thanks for the help!! **

**Despite Everything**

Chapter two…

As I heard the faint but annoying tap of my heels against the road I mentally processed what I had just done. I walked into _his _diner, not to mention unannounced, sat in _his _chair, ordered _his_ coffee…and then I fled. Then it hit me…What if he didn't read it?

I had written it small. He could have just left it or thrown it out without noticing. I remember thinking if that was the case, then all that strength it took me to get into that diner was a waste.

Damn it! I cursed myself quietly.. I sighed… I decided my first thought was wrong, this was Luke, after all he notices everything there is notice. He had to have read it. I forced myself to think..

But on the other hand what if he didn't get it, what if he thought that I meant I was sorry for walking away (which I was) and not for how much I hurt him.

That I knew.. I knew that everything I did hurt him… and to be honest, I wouldn't have blamed him for never trusting me or letting me back in.

But I had to try right?

I was pretty sure that he got what I meant, he does know me better than anyone ever did.. I then realized that I was crying, crying like I had every night since we separated..

I missed him so much that I was willing to do _anything _to gain his trust back.

I just hoped that he would forgive me.

I wished it could be that easy but I knew that it wouldn't.

I came to my driveway and stopped dead in my tracks.

"Rory?"

She was sitting on the porch stairs. She smiled.

"Mom!"

I ran toward her and we hugged tightly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too." she rolled her eyes.

"I didn't me it like that, I meant what are you doing here standing before me. I haven't seen or heard from you in days, so I imagine you either got sucked into a black hole which led to a parallel universe or you were trapped inside-"

Rory interrupted, "Sorry I worried you."

I smiled. "A phone call would have been nice, I've tried calling you but you never answered." she stopped, "so you better have been on your death bed."

"Are you saying you wish I was dying?" she was in shock.

"No…" I replied carefully, "I am looking for a _very _good explanation."

"And I have a _very _good one that your going to LOVE." she said sincerely.

"Good, but I have a feeling I'm going to need some coffee, while listening to your long explanation so lets go inside."

"Sounds good." Rory agreed.

I walked toward the front door, I wrapped my arm around Rory and smiled.

"It's nice to have you back kiddo."

"Happy to be here." she grinned.

I unlocked the door, and we walked in. Paul Anka greeted us.

"Hey there, buddy!" Rory told the dog, while patting his head.

I walked over to the couch and sat down waiting for Rory to join me. She sat down and we both adjusted so we were facing each other.

"Okay Missy, Spill." I instructed pointing my finger at her.

"Well as you know I'm applying for work, and I've been up like every night since Mia's wedding searching the internet.. looking for new places to apply within the area-"

I gasped. "Rory you have already applied to everything remotely close to here."

Rory sighed, "I just want to keep my options open, I mean do have any idea how hard it is to have Paris as a roommate?"

"I can only imagine." I answered.

Rory nodded, "Knowing her she will get into all of the medical and law schools she applied for."

I began shaking my head, "Rory, just because your feeling discouraged right now.. It doesn't change the person you already are, and the person you will become. You know you are more than qualified to get into the places you applied to. I know you may not think this right now, as much as it pains me to admit it.. I believe you are ready to take your terrifying journey into the world."

"You really think so mom?"

I only nodded because I could feel the tears coming.

"Thanks mom, you have to know that your opinion matters most to me, knowing you have so much confidence in me, it means more than you know. I'm glad you know I can do this."

"I always have."

We hugged. She embraced me tightly.. I suddenly thought back to when she needed me, like this anyway.. It reminded me of her first day at Yale.

She hopped off her bed and hugged me. Tightly like now.

"_Oh, whoa, oh, honey, honey." _

"_Look at this, look at this." _

"_Look at what?" _

"_Four hours at Yale and I'm already homesick." _

"_Well, that's okay." _

"_All I could think of the minute you left was "I want my mommy." I haven't thought that since I was two." _

"_That's natural." _

"_I'm eighteen. I can sign contracts, I can vote, I can fight for my country. I mean, I'm an adult. Adults don't want their mommies." _

"_Yes, they do, honey. I'm not a good example, but -" _

"_Everything's so foreign. I have to share a bathroom. I've never shared a bathroom with anyone but you. So I'm gonna be running into people in the bathroom, we're gonna have to make small talk. I don't know any bathroom small talk." _

"_Um. . .gee, your hair smells terrific?" _

"_You didn't socialize me properly. You made me a mama's girl. Why don't I hate you?" _

"_Why don't I want to be away from you? It's going to be very hard to be Christiane Amanpour broadcasting live from a foxhole in Tehran with my mommy. I guess you're just gonna have to learn how to operate a camera 'cause I'll need you there with me." _

"_I would do that." _

"_And how did I end up at Yale? I mean, I let Grandma and Grandpa manipulate me right out of Harvard and into Yale. That's how strong-willed I am. I know nothing about Yale." _

"_Not so - you've memorized its entire history." _

"_How can you be so fine with this? You left here without a care in the world." _

"_That's not true." _

"_You couldn't wait for me to get out of the house. What were you doing when I paged you - turning my room into a sewing room? I should hate you, not miss you. Do something to make me hate you." _

"_Uh. . .go Hitler!" _

I smiled at the memory.

Rory had always needed me, it was a scary thought to know that someday soon she would not. I never wanted to let go of that hug, but when we parted she had tear stains on her cheeks.

She laughed lightly, "Look at us."

"I know its going to be hard when you are gone for-"

Rory looked at me questioningly.

I didn't want to say for _good_ because as of right now we didn't know where she was headed.

I stood up, with a slight smile.. "Coffee?"

She nodded and followed me into the kitchen.

"I'll dot it, mom."

I sat the table, and within seconds a mug was in front of me, Rory sat down across from me.

"Okay, mom what is going on with you?" she approached cautiously.

I had to tell her what was on my mind.. Although, I didn't want her to jump to conclusions. I had to tell her something, I knew that because it would be to difficult no to.

"Mom?" I was so wrapped up in thought I forgot she was still waiting for an answer.

"Well.. I kind of have something _big _to tell you." Rory's eyes lit up as she waited for me to continue, "Rory, I went into the diner today."

"Mom, that's great."

I shook my head, "No Rory.. "

She raised her eyebrow and gave me a strange look.

"What are you talking about, of course it is!" She explained it like I was missing something very obvious.

I shook my head once more, but before I could explain myself she began talking.

"Mom, you haven't been in that diner since the break-up, it was good for you to go in their and take the first step, you will be on your way to repairing your relationship in no time at all, I mean think about it, you obviously thought about it and went in when you were ready. Its only a matter of time-"

I stood up, "No Rory, STOP!" she looked at me with confusion, "Rory, you don't understand."

"Then help me understand." She responded so quietly I could barely here her.

I took a large gulp of my coffee and started to say what I wanted to all along, "Rory, it was awful." I stopped to look at her, her eyes were apologetic. "The thing is, that I didn't think about it, I don't even remember walking there, I just ended up there." Rory nodded, "It was a mistake, because I wasn't ready, I just want things to go back to normal, and I wasn't thinking and I had to do something.. I did something drastic, and I can't take it back. I was so uncomfortable, Luke looked at me like I was some kind of mirage. It was so hard, so hard to talk to him, I hated it.. Its got me thinking that things will _never _get back to normal." I sighed, glad I got that off my chest.

Rory looked at me like she was preparing herself to say something, and oddly I already knew what it was.

"Mom, you shouldn't have done it if you weren't ready.." she paused, I know she regretted she said that, I could tell by her eyes. She continued in a gentler tone, "I know it was a mistake, but now the whole town is going to know."

I nodded unable to speak anymore, I buried my face in my hands.


	3. Who Knew

**Despite Everything... Chapter Three...** **Who Knew?**

**IMPORTANT A/N: Was this updated fast enough?? LOL Okay, well I did not write this chapter, it was written by the amazing and talented co-writer Kaci, (LGandLDForever) From now on she will be writing every other chapter. So be nice!! **

**  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! I'm glad you guys like the story!! **

**  
Sarahb2007: Why are you sad?? **

"_Mom, you shouldn't have done it if you weren't ready.." she paused, I know she regretted she said that, I could tell by her eyes. She continued in a gentler tone, "I know it was a mistake, but now the whole town is going to know."_

_I nodded unable to speak anymore, I buried my face in my hands._

"Mom," I looked up, just enough to see my daughter's face. "It's gonna be okay." She whispered, putting her hand over my arm.

I nodded, hoping she was right.. hoping that everything would work it self out.. hoping that I would get the nerve to set foot in the diner again.. hoping that the damage that's been done could be fixed... hoping that Luke and I could start over.. hoping that it wouldn't be too late... hoping that we would have our middle.. hoping that we _could _have our middle.

"Oh! I think I have something that'll you cheer you up!" I scrunched my eyebrows, watching my daughter curiously as she turned around, rummaging through her bag "Patrick Swayze!" She smiled, turning to briefly face me.

"You have a fifty five year old man in your bag?" I questioned.

"Yes," She nodded at me. "not only was I able to contact Patrick Swayze, but I also got a hold of Rick Moranis, who agreed to let me borrow that shrink machine he used in 1989, to miniaturize Patrick Swayze, who is now sitting in my bag, waiting to come out and be returned to his normal size and when he does, you'll have to go out to dinner with him- that was the only way he agreed to come."

"_Patrick Swayze_ wants to go out with _me_, _Lorelai Gilmore_." I gasped, putting my hand over my heart. "I'm honored."

"You should be," Rory nodded, her back still turned toward me. "It's not everyday that Patrick Swayze can take a time out from his very busy life and fly all the way out to Connecticut, just to take a lucky fan from Stars Hollow out to dinner- you should be very honored, this is a once in a lifetime experience."

"Well, he is a little old for me," I said, looking up at the ceiling. "But hell, why not." I shrugged, a grin on my face.

"Ah ha! Found it! .._ Dirty Dancing_." She smiled, holding the movie up for me to see.

"And Patrick Swayze?..."

"-Will be in the living room." She finished. "Come on." Sighing, I stood up, following my daughter into the living room.

_A Bit Later..._

I tried to focus on the movie, I really did, but I just couldn't. My thoughts just wouldn't rest.

I tried very hard to hear everything that was being said. I tried to keep my attention on the screen for more than a five minute period.. but I couldn't.

"_No one puts baby in a corner!"_

I sighed, bringing my eyes back to the screen just after Johnny said, with his finger pointing at "baby", what later become one of his signature lines.

Of course, no more than two minutes later, my worries took over, making unwanted memories play in mind.

**"****_I need more time. I told you that."_**

**_"I'm afraid of this "more time stuff". I'm afraid it will take 40 years, and that's not good."_**

**_"Lorelai."_**

**_"We'll miss our middle. I want a middle. And the town is dividing us up. I need that to stop."_**

**_"Don't..."_**

**_"Luke. I'm all in. I'm all in. Please trust me. Let me show you what a great girlfriend I can be. But I can't wait. We can't wait. I need to know what you're thinking right now."_**

**_"Fine you want to know what I'm thinking right now? That I can't be in this relationship. It's too much."_**

I closed my eyes, wanting to preventing the tears from falling.

That day, it was just.. terrible.. those weeks when we were apart... horrible... but then, when we got back together, I thought we had fixed our problems, I thought we would progress from there, move forward..I thought we would get married... have a kid... but we didn't.. all we did was suppress our problems.. they didn't go away.. not for good.

"Mom?" I herd Rory call me, but I didn't open my eyes. I didn't want her to see me on the verge of crying.

"I um, I'm gonna.. go for a walk." I said, gesturing toward the door as I stood up.

"Okay.." I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. I could hear that she was worried, but I didn't turn around to reassure her that I was fine.. I just needed to be alone.. clear my head. So without looking back, I quickly headed for the door, the spring air meeting me as I opened it.

_Town Square.._

I don't know why.

I don't know why I choose this route.

I don't know why I went right instead of left.

I don't know why I ever left the house... that was a big mistake.

But I did, and now here I was, walking down Elm street. The yellow coffee cup within view.

I stopped, my eyes glued to that big coffee cup.

Eventually I forced myself to look away, sighing as I tore my gaze from the diner.

I wasn't sure exactly what time it was but the sky was changing colors. It wasn't dark out yet, but that time in between, the transitional period between day and night.

I looked up, letting my eyes travel across the changing sky. It was like the yellow from the sun was bleeding into the sky, showing a ray of colors. Pink, orange, blue, yellow... It was an amazing site, defiantly a Kodak moment.. too bad I didn't have a camera.

Hugging my arms around my stomach, I took a step forward.

My head was screaming no, telling me to turn around, but still, my legs kept moving.

I knew I wasn't ready... I knew Luke wasn't ready.. I knew _we_ weren't ready.

What happen between us wasn't something that could just be fixed with an exchange of, "I'm sorrys." We went through too much for it to be that simple.

Maybe it was too late.. maybe I wouldn't have my happy ending.. maybe _we_ wouldn't have our happy ending.. but I wanted to try... I needed to try.

"_**You're not ready for this.. not yet."** _I thought, silently repeating those words.. but like I was running on autopilot, I kept moving.

It didn't take long before I reached the diner. My eyes, like they had a mind of their own, snapped to the right, immediately locking on Luke, who was standing behind the counter.

This was all too familiar.

The after dinner lull. Luke behind the register, checking recites, counting the days profit.. I must've witnessed it a million times..even before we were dating, I would sit on the stool, "My stool." while eating.. usually it was pie and always with a cup of coffee.

Before Yale, Rory would usually be there, sitting right next to me, the three of us talking about nothing and everything.

It did become more frequent when Luke and I started dating.. if it wasn't already frequent before that... but there were minor differences of course. Rory wouldn't be there and instead of going home when my plate was empty, Luke and I would either go out, or go upstairs- both usually resulting in me spending the night.

If this was last year, that's where I'd be, sitting in front of Luke, eating that last piece of pie that he always saved for me, while he closed up.. then, If I didn't finish before he did, I'd take the pie with me. He hated it when I ate in his bed. No matter how hard I tried, I always managed to leave crumbs behind and Luke hated crumbs... but still.. he never said no.

But this wasn't last year. Luke and I weren't together.. hell! we weren't even friends!

Looking back on everything, I think that's why we went on for so long as just friends. I think I was scared.. scared of losing what we had.. the great friend ship that we once had.

He was an attractive man, I wasn't blind. And that was just an added bonus.

Luke used to be one of the few constants in my life. He was one of the few people that I could always count on. He was always there for me, and I was always there for him.

Dating Luke...It was terrifying at first.

That night at the Dragonfly, when he kissed me.. it was completely terrifying.. but it was amazing.. absolutely amazing.

I was scared as hell when we first went out. Scared that I would screw up.. scared that I would leave running.. scared that I would break his heart.. scared that I would break my heart.

Who knew that _he _would be the one to break _my _heart.

Of course I knew I hurt him too.

The look on his face when I told him.. I'll never forget it...

"_It's over."_

" _No, you can't say that. You can't just say that it's over. It's not over. You can't just decide that it's over. I'm in this, too. You know I'm not gonna let it be over. You said, "be ready now or never." I'm ready now."_

"_Luke."_

"_Let's go. Let's do this. Let's get married right now. Let's go." _

" _I slept with Christopher."_

It was like I stabbed him in the back.. I hurt him so much.. we both got hurt.. so much.

"_**Oh no."** _I thought when I saw him look up, his eyes on mine before I could look away.

The right thing to do would be to say hi, at least wave.. just acknowledge him in some way... but I didn't.. I turned.. running as far as my legs would take me.


	4. Anywhere But Here

-1A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed, you guys rock!!!

Javajunkishness: Your welcome. That was deep, glad your liking the story.

HippieWinterSweet: Thanks Hope, glad you love it.

Okay I'm sorry this story is making everyone sad, but we promise it will get better.

Despite Everything… Chapter 4...

I sighed, and before I knew what I was doing, I dropped everything and ran to the door, I didn't hesitate this time. I ran after her, even though she was really far away, damn she can run.

"Lorelai, wait!!" I called.

I was imagining things, that wasn't his voice calling after me, it was my own desire. I needed to here his voice again and there it was. I didn't dare stop moving or turn around knowing I would regret it later.

She heard me, I knew she did. After I called her name she moved slightly faster. As much as it pained me to do so, I turned back in the direction of diner. She obviously wasn't ready to talk. I was not sure I was either to be honest.

I opened the door back up, and found every person in the diner staring at me.

"What the hell are you looking at!" I shouted, everyone dropped their heads to their plates immediately.

I was moving so fast, it seemed like slow motion. I flew to the only place I knew I could be alone.

I crossed my legs and sat down, once I got there. I looked out into the lake. The sun was setting, and what an incredible sight it was seeing the reflection of the radiant colers in the water, almost like a mirror. The splashes of color in the rainbow sky made me smile.

The smile was gone when I was transported back to reality, I got lost in the sight.

I took a deep breathe, it was a way of letting myself know that this was actually happening. Luke wanted to talk, at least I thought he did, why did he try to come after me?

I sighed, nothing was going to get fixed now, with me sitting here, but I couldn't go back now. That was one thing I was sure about.

I shook my head, trying to get all the thoughts out.. I wanted to clear my head so badly. I fell on my back, laying on the grass, I rested my palms on my stomach. I was trying desperately to relax. I closed my eyes. The blackness filled them, and then I saw _his_ face.. His bright blue orbs were staring at me. I opened my eyes, the tears were already slipping, but frankly I didn't care anymore. I know I needed a good cry.

I realized something just then. Everyone knew things could not be fixed right now, I was waiting for something that could possibly never happen.

I got up and bolted again.

I ran all the way to the house without looking back.

Once I got in, I ran right up the stairs, trying not to focus on anything else but what I _had _to do. I opened up my closet, grabbed my suitcase and threw it on the bed. I grabbed every piece of clothing I found and started stuffing it in, not caring about how wrinkled everything would be. Then they started coming again.. Flowing freely down my cheeks.

"Mom?"

I didn't answer.

"Mom? What are you doing?"

Again, I didn't answer.

Rory walked over to me and grabbed a hold of my shoulders. She shot me a worried look.

I shook my head, I was _not _ going to let her talk me out of this, she was so good at that.

"I have to go." I spoke so quietly I couldn't here myself.

She must of heard me, "Go? Go where?"

"Anywhere. Anywhere but here."

"What happened?"

"Rory, please just let me go."

"No, mom you are not going to do that to me again."

"Again"

"Leave without any explanation!" she replied.

Then it hit me. I knew what she was talking about.

"_Pack!" _

"_What?" _

"_Pack." _

"_What's going on?" _

"_We are hitting the road." _

"_What?" _

"_Pack everything. Traveling light is for girls." _

"_What's going on here? Why are we hitting the road?" _

"_We haven't taken a road trip in forever and the weather is perfect." _

"_We can't take a road trip. You're getting married this weekend." _

"_Do you have my blue swimsuit?" _

"_What about Max?" _

"_Sunscreen, we need sunscreen." _

"_Mom, stop." _

"_What?" _

"_Are you and Max getting married?" _

"_No." _

I sighed, "Rory, I just have to go.. I know you want a reason, but I can't give you one right now, and I know you'll be disappointed, but this time you cannot come with me."

"What am I supposed to say to people?"

I sighed, I didn't think about the noisy town for once.

"I don't know. Make something up, your smart."

"What about Paul Anka?" she asked, "I can't take him with me."

"Sookie! Give him to Sookie."

"Mom-"

"Rory, I can't explain now, I know you don't understand but I'll be back before you know it just promise me you'll be okay without me."

Rory nodded.

I grabbed my fully stuffed suitcase and walked out of the room. Climbed down the stairs and went into the foyer.

"Mom, do you at least plan on coming back?"

I could see the hurt in her eyes. "I will."

We said our goodbyes and I walked outside. Placed my suitcase in the trunk. Got in the Jeep and drove off.

As I passed the gazebo, I got the urge to go into the diner. I passed the glass windows, the lights we off it was so dark, and the sign was flipped to "closed".

I couldn't turn back now I knew I had to do this.. For me.

I stared at the familiar Jeep, where was she going?? I only wished I knew as I watched her drive away.

A/N: Just so everyone knows Kaci (LGanLDForever) came up with the ending so you guys can's yell at me!!! Reviews are always appreciated.


	5. You're Everywhere to Me

**Despite Everything... Chapter Five.. You're everywhere to me**

**Written by: LGandLDforever**

**A/N- Quick alert, this chapter is set in the narrators point of view because I'm going to be doing a lot of jumping so I thought it would be better this way. Hope you like it :)**

"_Mom, do you at least plan on coming back?"_

_I could see the hurt in her eyes. "I will."_

_We said our goodbyes and I walked outside. Placed my suitcase in the trunk. Got in the Jeep and drove off._

_As I passed the gazebo, I got the urge to go into the diner. I passed the glass windows, the lights we off it was so dark, and the sign was flipped to "closed"._

_I couldn't turn back now I knew I had to do this.. For me._

_I stared at the familiar Jeep, where was she going?? I only wished I knew as I watched her drive away._

_**On the Road...**_

Where Lorelai was, she had no idea, nor did she know how long she's been behind the wheel, driving to God knows where.. all she knew was that she had to be away.. far far away.

If Lorelai was asked to describe herself, list her personality traits, independent would defiantly be one of the first words that would come to mind. There were very few people who she depended on, three that she immediately thought of and as much as she loved them, she was still sure that if something were to happen, and she was put in a position to be without them, she was certain life would go on.

She was realizing that that wasn't the case.

Lorelai's never been one to turn down a challenge, but unfortunately running away from her problems; over the years, it became a pattern.

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering harder, a firm look on her face as she tried to gain some control, mentally sort things out as she cruised down the highway.

Of course, because of her no map policy, and since Rory wasn't next to her, no doubt she would be carrying a map- Lorelai had no clue where she was going, she just knew she couldn't stay in Stars Hollow.. not now.

She almost wished that she had stayed with Christopher. That she lied, told him there was nothing there anymore, that she was over Luke.. just so she could suppress the pain again.

While she was with him, he managed to distract her. Of course Luke was always in the back of her mind, but when Chris would walk in, she'd shake her head, plaster a smile to her face, and for the time being, put thoughts of Luke to the back of her mind.

It still hurt. Heartbreak was never easy.. but at least being with Christopher managed to keep the pain buried for most of the time, but almost every night, when Chris would be out cold beside her, she would lye awake, her mind running like a 24 hour convince store that had it's lulls, but then, after an hour or two of quiet, the people would come and there was no escaping.

Now, there was nothing to give her that lull that she so desperately needed.

It mad her angry knowing she was so damn close to finally getting the whole package and it was ripped from her hands within in a matter of seconds.

As much as she wanted to blame Luke.. as much as she wanted to hate Luke.. she couldn't.. it wasn't his fault, not entirely. They both did their fair share of screwing up, and now they were paying the price. She might as well of sold her soul to the devil because she'd rather be stuck in hell then have to go through the constant pain that nagged at her all too often.

Lorelai took in a deep breath when she felt a tear roll down her cheek. Quickly, she took her left hand from the steering wheel, wiping furiously at the trail of water, then she blinked, putting both hands back on the wheel, focusing on the road.

_**Back In Stars Hollow...**_

It was late. The sun was down and the moon was high, giving minimal light, but no where near what the sun was capable of.

Luke was just closing up, putting the last chair up on the farthest table from the counter. Once that was done-like every night, he would go to turn the lights off, then head upstairs for the night... but tonight was slightly different.

As his hand reached for the light switch, on reflex, his eyes squinted when headlights from a car flashed in his face. Once the lights passed, he was able to see that it was a jeep, Lorelai's jeep.

No more than thirty minutes ago, he saw her running down the street, ignoring his calls. His feet were planted in that spot for minutes, having an inner battle. He wanted to talk to her.. he needed to talk to her.. but he decided against it, shacking his head as he turned to go back inside, quickly going back to business as usual.

At first Luke didn't think anything of it when he saw Lorelai driving down the street. Granted it was late, but he just assumed so was going out for a late night junk food run for one of her and Rory's movie nights... but then, when she got stopped by that red light, he noticed a few bags sitting in the trunk.

Than he knew she was leaving... maybe even for good.

_**The Crap Shack...**_

Rory's original plan, before everything that happened with her mom, was to leave before it got late, sleep at Yale. She had a lot of studying to do for classes, but she couldn't leave Paul Anka, and it was to o late to go to Sookie.

So now, she was in her mom's bedroom, sitting on her bed.

At first she was laying on her own bed, her books open in front of her, a highlighter in hand as she read her notes, but Paul Anka's crying got her attention and when she walked down the hall way, she saw the dog sitting by the stair case, looking sadly upstairs as he whimpered.

Rory knew Paul Anka slept with her mom ever night at the foot of her bed, so Rory started climbing the stairs, her suspicions confirmed when Paul Anka immediately took off after her, the dog at her feet as she went up the stairs.

When they reached the bedroom, the first thing Paul Anka did was go to foot of the bed, getting up on his hein legs as he prepared to jump.

Once Rory saw that he was settled, she turned to leave, but before she even reached the stairs, Paul Anka jumped off the bed, following her.

Rory guessed that he didn't like sleeping by himself, which was understandable since Lorelai was there with him every night, so she quickly went downstairs, Paul Anka following as she got her books, then went back up.

She's been "Studying" for almost three hours- if you can even call it that. She often found herself zoning out, her eyes going to the phone, willing it to ring.. but it didn't. .

Rory couldn't seem to focus. She'd read a line, glance at the phone, than look back at her notes, usually reading the same line, which got her very frustrated.

"Ugghh!" She yelled, throwing her highlighter, then burying her face in her hands.

She knew her mom's been hurting. She knew what Lorelai's been going through hasn't been easy but just leaving like that, making her worry like crazy.. it made Rory mad, pissed at her mother.

_Ring! Ring!_

Quickly Rory lifted her head, reaching out her hand to grab the phone.

"Hello." She said the second she hit the talk button.

"_Rory?"_ Lorelai questioned, confused that she was at the house and not Yale.

"Mom." Rory said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"_What are you doing there? Why aren't you at Yale?"_

"That's all you have to say," Rory said, her voice rising. "Why I'm here and not at Yale, Mom!" She yelled. "It's been hours, I was going crazy worrying about you!. I called your cell but it went right to voice mail.. I thought something happened to you." She confessed in a weak voice.

"_Oh honey," _Lorelai pouted, hating that she made her daughter worry. _"I'm fine sweetie, I'm sorry you worried and I know, I should have called earlier, but I just got to a hotel, I couldn't drive anymore, I'm exhausted."_

"Where are you?" Rory asked.

"_I don't know." _Lorelai sighed.

"You don't know?"

"_Somewhere in Massachusetts I think."_

"But you're okay?" Rory asked again, wanting to be sure.

"_Yeah baby, I'm okay."_

"Good." Rory nodded.

"_I'm sorry Rory.. for taking off like that.. I just.. I couldn't be there anymore.. I need to think, clear my head."_

"As long as you come back.. it's okay."

"_Rory,"_ Lorelai, shock filling her tone. _"I would never leave you.. you know that."_

"Yeah," Rory nodded. "But you haven't been yourself.. not since-"

"_Since I broke up with Luke, I know."_ Lorelai said quickly, not wanting to talk about him. _"Listen babe, I'm gonna go, okay? It's late, and you need to sleep, you have classes tomorrow."_

"Not until the afternoon." Rory added, not wanting to hang up.

"_I know,_" Lorelai smiled. _"But in order for you to keep those high grades up, you need sleep for that giant brain of yours, and when I say sleep, I don't mean laying in bed with a book light and your notes, I mean you turn out all the lights, lay down, close your eyes, and go to sleep." _Lorelai said the last four words firmly.

"Okay." Rory laughed.

"_I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Before you go to class."_

"I love you mom." Rory added before they hung up.

"_I love you too Rory."_

"Goodnight."

"_Goodnight baby."_

_**Next Morning...**_

As promised, Lorelai called her daughter before she knew Rory would have to leave for school and she assured her again, that she wouldn't be gone long, she just needed some time alone and everything would be fine.

Now, it was almost twelve as Lorelai sat on the edge of the bed, tyeing her shoes as she got ready to go out.

Once both shoes were tyed, she stood up, grabbed her sweater from her open suitcase that layed on the floor, and made her way down stairs to the lobby.

"Hi," Lorelai smiled as she walked up to the concierge. "Can you tell me what town this is?"

"This is Peabody." the young bubbly woman smiled.

"Peabody?" Lorelai asked, desperately trying to suppress a laugh.

"Yes, about two miles from Salem."

"Salem?" Lorelai asked. "_The_ salem, like the _**crucible**_ Salem?"

"Yep." She nodded eagerly.

"_Well it's something to do." _Lorelai shrugged at the thought. "Thank you." Lorelai smiled, turning to walk away.

"Don't you want directions?!" The concierge yelled.

"No, that's okay." Lorelai said, not turning back.

_**Stars Hollow... Sookie's House..**_

"Sookie?" Rory called, as she knocked on the door, Paul Anka's leash in one hand and his overnight bag in the other.

"Coming!" Sookie yelled as she waddled to the door... "Rory." She smiled at her best friend's daughter.

"Hey Sookie." Rory said cautiously.

"You want some brownies?" Sookie called over her shoulder as she walked toward the kitchen. "I have this new recipe I'm trying out before I make it at the Inn."

"Umm.. yeah, sure." She said, ushering Paul Anka into the house. "Listen Sookie, I need to ask you something.. a favor."

"What is honey?" Sookie asked from the kitchen as she got a plate.

"Well yesterday, mom.. she needed to get away for a while and so she went on a.. road trip."

"A road trip?" Sookie asked, a look of worry instantly covering her face, knowing her friends habits.

"Yeah," Rory nodded. "And If you can't it's okay, but I was hoping you could look after Paul Anka while she's gone, when I don't' have classes, I'll come and take care of him, but do you mind, if he sleeps over?"

"Of course, he can stay."

"Thanks Sookie." Rory smiled, moving to put Paul Anka's bag on the couch.

"So when is she coming back?"

".. I don't know.. I don't think she knows.. she just said she needed time alone for a while.. time to think... I'm worried about her Sookie." Rory admitted. "Luke has always hit her the hardest.. she's never been like this with other guys.. it never hurt her this much.. I don't think she'll get over him."

"Neither do I." Sookie smiled, moving to wrap her arms around the younger Gilmore. "And let's hope she doesn't.. those two are meant to be together." Sookie gushed.

_**A Bit Later.. Crap Shack..**_

Rory was walking back home, just stopping by the crap shack to get her books and everything for Yale when she saw Luke's truck sitting in the driveway.

"Luke?" She called, confused when she saw him climb out of his truck. "What are you doing here?" She asked as she approached him.

"Where's your mom?" He asked, getting right to the point.

"She's.. not home.." Rory said, trying to be cautious of her words.

"Where is she?"

".. I can't tell you Luke.." She sighed, frustrated. "I want too, I really do because I think you could fix this.. fix her.." Rory mumbled the last part. "..But I can't, It's not my place.. I'm sorry." She apologized, walking past him and up the porch steps.

_**Salem Mass...**_

In reality, the drive from the hotel to Salem was only suppose to take about ten minutes, but Lorelai being, well.. Lorelai.. didn't ask for directions, so she got lost at one point, but she didn't break down and ask, luckily, she eventually found Salem, and it only took her a half hour.

"Wow.." Lorelai awed, seeing house after house, most of them Victorian. She loved that style, it was beautiful, elegant, timeless.. there was so much detail, even on the outside... that was one thing Lorelai loved about it, the detail.

Quickly hitting her turning signal, Lorelai parked her car next to the curb, spotting a blue victorian house from the corner of her eye.

Mesmerized, Lorelai opened the door, her eyes glued to the house as she walked up the sidewalk.

She took in a deep breath, seeing that it looked very much like the house her mother wanted to buy for her and Luke.

"God damn it!" She yelled in frustration, realizing she just couldn't get away from him. "Why is this so hard." She whispered to herself, burying her face in her hands.

Lorelai took a minute to compose herself and when she did, she wiped her face, but back in her car, and continue the drive through Salem.

_**An Hour or Two Later.. The Hotel.. **_

"_Lorelai!"_

_She turned, stopping dead in her tracks. Her chest was heaving rapidly, her heart beating a mile a minute. _

_It was dark, the only light coming from the full moon above her and trees were surrounding her. _

"_Lorelai!"_

_It was Luke's voice, she'd recognize it anywhere._

"_Luke." She said, not a doubt in her voice. _

_She waited, still as stone, her eyes wide, waiting to heart his voice again. _

_After a minute of dead silence, she took off running again, and not even three steps later, she herd it again. _

"_Lorelai! Come on!"_

"_Where are you?" She asked, worry in her voice. _

"_We're gonna be late!"_

"_Late?" She questioned, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Late for what?...Where the hell are you?!"_

_He didn't answer, and she stood still again. _

"_Luke!" She shouted, on the verge of tears. _

Gasping for air, Lorelai's eye's snapped open, a tear rolling down her cheek.

.. To Be Continued..

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